Tragedy and Triumph: My Dad and the Hospital and Delirium and then Home Hospice

On Friday, November 19, 2021 at approximately 7:00 pm, my dad had a seizure. Shortly after the paramedics arrived, he went by ambulance to Castle Rock Adventist Hospital. My husband Dan, my daughter Annabelle, and Annabelle’s boyfriend Ben, and I followed shortly after that and waited in the emergency room waiting room area. I saw my dad briefly in the ER just before they rolled him away on a gurney to do numerous tests. My dad seemed quite calm then.

After numerous tests, we received a call around midnight telling us he had a slow heartbeat. We were told decisions on what to do would be made on Saturday.

He became agitated Friday night and all day Saturday. As Saturday night progressed delirium occurred at the hospital. We were told he probably only slept for 30 minutes over those two days. He was screaming out and trying to pull out the cords that were attached to him in the hospital bed. It was a nightmare.

He was moved at 8:00 am on Sunday morning to Porter Adventist Hospital in Denver where he was scheduled to have a micra pacemaker put in his body.

Dan and I and Annabelle and Joel planned to go to that hospital in Denver to wait during the procedure, but when Dan and I arrived, just as the heart nurse called us, we were told only one visitor would be allowed to see him that day, so I contacted Annabelle and Joel and told them to stay home.

Dan and I waited outside the hospital on a bench for a bit, but after about 30 minutes, we were told we either had to sit in our car or sit outside in the hospital garden. We couldn’t even use the restrooms in the hospital lobby, so we had to drive to a local grocery store to use the facilities.

When the procedure ended, I received a call from the doctor and was told I could see my dad in 30 minutes and that he would be awake.

Holding the volunteer (Stephanie’s) hand all day Sunday 11/21/2021

Well…that did not happen. My dad never woke up for the entire day and Dan sat in the car for the whole day. I wanted to be by my dad’s side when he woke up, but I did not stay inside his hospital room endlessly; I took a scooter ride to a nearby park and hung out in the car with Dan a bit. I just could not bear to leave my dad though, so we didn’t leave the hospital until about 6:00 pm.

On Monday, I waited and waited for an update, but I received no calls from the hospital. Finally, after making numerous calls, my father’s nurse called me at 1:00 pm. She sounded completely uninterested and told me he would not be released that day. I was so frustrated! I was given no information.

Porter Adventist Hospital only allows one family member to visit per day due to Covid, so my brother visited on Monday afternoon since I had not yet visited him and saw my dad in a delirious state.

I was determined on Tuesday to see if my presence would stop the agitation and delirium, so I spent a full day at the hospital with my dad. The delirium was gone that day, but instead his Alzheimer’s had quickly advanced to the ending stages because of the recent medical procedure.

This was a photo of my dad I took of him at the hospital on Tuesday, 11/23/2021 - He looks awake, but he could barely keep his eyes open that day and only ate a few bites of the food that was in front of him.

My dad didn’t seem to know how to keep his eyes open, eat, swallow, or function. He kept repeating everything I said like a parrot. He still recognized me. I was told that he called out my name over and over during the night.

My dad was in an almost catatonic state when I saw him at the hospital on Tuesday 11/23/2021 - I was very discouraged and almost gave up any hope he could return home. This photo was taken just before I left at around 6:00 pm. He was not alert at all when I said goodbye to him. I wondered if this was the way I would always see him from that point on.

The doctor and I talked and decided we would give this another day, but I had lost the hope that he would be able to return home to my care. He had been released by the cardiologist to be discharged, but he could not be discharged in the state he was in. It was such a sad day. I couldn’t help but cry and cry.

On Wednesday, I decided I would go to the hospital in the afternoon to talk with the doctor to decide how to proceed. It was a cold snowy day, but I knew I needed to get there. Around 11:30 am, I received a call from the social worker telling me he would probably need to be moved to a skilled nursing facility. I asked if home hospice care was an option, and once I asked that, the ball got rolling!

My loss of hope turned into hope and I arrived at the hospital full of excitement!

When I entered my dad’s room, again he was in bed in a pretty catatonic state, but I insisted he be woken up and that he eat some of the food that was in front of him. I was encouraged to hear from the nurse that he had eaten his entire breakfast!

I kept telling my dad to open his eyes and eat. He kept replying “I am trying.”

Getting my dad out of a place that was making him crazy and turning him into a vegetable was all I was thinking about. I was determined to get my father back to his home and to family.

Finally, it came time to get him dressed. With the help of a sitter who had watched him all day he was dressed and ready to go. I was fearful that once he sat in a wheelchair without seeing me he would get agitated, but that didn’t happen as I got the car.

The drive home was fairly uneventful. When we got back to my dad’s Colorado mountain home, he got out of the car and walked up the stairs in the garage into the house on his own! (Well, I helped a bit.). We had a wheelchair ready for him once he entered the house when he couldn’t figure out how to use the hospital walker.

We took him to the living room in the wheelchair and he watched TV by the fireplace until the nurse arrived. We then took him to the dining room and he joined us at the dining room table as the hospice nurse, Sherisse, had me sign a lot of papers. My dad ate a little bit of food and drank a lot of grapefruit drink.

After the nurse left, we helped my dad get to bed and hoped that being in his own bed would restore him.

Back at home in his own bed - Wednesday 11/24/2021

The next day was Thanksgiving Day and we woke my dad up in the morning so he’d be ready for a visit from my friend Bernice and her family and also a visit from my brother Billy.

Sitting in the living room Thanksgiving morning

Thanksgiving morning breakfast

At 10 am, my dad was wide awake and ate a really good breakfast. My sister Lynnellen got to see him on FaceTime and was overjoyed to see him looking so good!

My brother Billy arrived at 11:30, and sadly, my dad had fallen asleep in a kitchen chair and was no longer really able to communicate, but he did wake up for just a moment as Billy left and said, “Hi Billy!”

In the late afternoon, we had Thanksgiving Dinner together. My dad was very sleepy during the meal though, but we were so glad to have him with us at our Thanksgiving table! He drank an entire Ensure drink later.

My dad rested in front of the television after dinner and asked for us to take him to the restroom. I won’t describe the details, but put it this way: Dan and I experienced what CNAs experience daily. After my dad showered, we got him to bed. We were exhausted.

On Friday 11/26, my dad slept until 2:15 pm. (The home hospice nurses advised us to let him sleep.) He showered, shaved, and dressed on his own. He ate a good meal about an hour later and watched television until we had dinner around 6:00 pm. At dinner he really was not awake, but around 9:00 pm he really became alert. He was even surprised when I came into the living room in my nightgown and said, “Why are you going to bed so early?”

Then, around 9:45 pm, he suddenly became exhausted and we helped him get to bed.

My Dad Being Like His Old Self On Saturday, November 27, 2021

On Saturday, 11/27, my dad slept until 4:15 pm! That was what I call a miracle day since the sleep seemed to work miracles. He dressed and showered on his own, but didn’t eat all that much of the pancakes and eggs I made him He did drink a lot of orange juice though. It was wonderful to see him walk around the house without a walker and walk with ease! At 8 pm, all of a sudden, he became very exhausted and we helped him get in bed.

This photo feels like a miracle occurred!

Sunday 11/28, he slept until about 3:15 pm and got dressed in time to join us for an early dinner that my friend Marina brought. His appetite was not that great, but he did eat the food on his own. After watching television for an hour or so, we invited him back into the kitchen around 7:00 pm for some pumpkin pie.

We have noticed my dad seems to be very thirsty. He drinks a lot lemonade or juice.

It seems he is a bit like the “Energizer Bunny” the last few days. For short periods it is like he comes to life and turns on. Then, suddenly his batteries dwindle down and he becomes exhausted and gets confused. Tonight he didn’t recognize his own bed or bedroom when that happened. He doesn’t seem to know that he needs to put on pajamas before going to bed. He did use soap to wash his hands after using the restroom.

We have not yet received assistance from New Century Hospice, but their services will begin more regularly on Monday, November 29.

In summary…I do believe in miracles. My dad being inside his home under my family’s care is a miracle!