Lung danger and fever

Days passed and Dan's lungs were in danger.

Because of the danger, Dan was kept on the ventilator.

A high fever appeared that was a mystery.

I began to lose hope.

Our car was rear-ended

On Monday, September 26, I was determined to take the children skating again.

We headed for Colorado College's rink at about 8:30 AM. I planned to stop at 7 Eleven to pick up some breakfast foods.

I sat at a red right-hand turn lane in deep thought. I heard a car honk and pulled a bit forward after the honk to see if it was clear to turn and decided to wait. The car that honked at me hit me.

I sat there in shock as we waited for the police.

I don't think I would have repaired the dent, but I discovered later in the afternoon that the rear hatch now would not open.

We did skate and CC and after that, stopped at the hospital and visited Dan after skating. Annabelle was afraid of Dan this time and would not go near him. She stayed near her new stroller and told Daddy about her doll. Joel talked about his Playstation games and Rebekah sang to Daddy and showed him her new Cabbage Patch doll.

That night we went to Joel's pack meeting. I was determined to go. Mike went with us and did the driving on the way home and we at dinner at McDonalds playland.

Should the children see Dan "this way?"

I had been advised to wait until Dan was off the ventilator before the children saw Dan.

A call from John Helm, on Saturday night, September 24, changed my thinking on that.

I learned that night that Dan might not get better and was advised to get my children out again and into life again.

So on Sunday, September 25, I woke up, dressed the children and told Dan's brother Mike that if no one talked me out of it, that the children would go to see their father in the hospital today.

We ate breakfast at Old World Bagel and bought some things at Target that shifted my time plan, but we did arrive at the hospital in mid-afternoon and the children did see Daddy! We had begun to park our car next to the park next to the hospital and as we entered from the park entrance, I felt an excitement and peace and also apprehension.

It was like a movie! There was this feeling of relief and joy as the children got to see him and touch him. Dan's nurse, Colene, answered any questions the children had. Joel talked and talked and told Daddy everything on his mind. Rebekah cried at first, but then began ot sing to Dan. Annabelle was scared at first, but soon was touching Dan and talking to him and pleaded not to leave.

After leaving the hospital, we went to SAMS and I bought the children TLC gifts -- dolls, strollers, games. I just had to celebrate some way.

Pelvic Surgery on Tuesday

The big surgery on Dan's pelvis was scheduled for Tuesday, September 20.

I arranged for Betty Knight to take Rebekah to Jr. Girl Scouts and she also watched Annabelle and Joel and took care of their dinner too.

I realized when I got to the hospital that I was feeling very alone and called Donna Schoon at Chapel Hills and asked her to come and stay with me during the surgery.

All my family had left (except Dan's brother Mike) and I realized I felt really, really alone.

Donna arranged for Richard Frye to stay with me when she had to leave the hospital.

(I ran into Marcia Van Camp, at the surgery area. Her mother was in the hospital because of a small stroke and she asked what I was there for. I told her, but I don't believe she really understood or listened.)

Richard and I took a long walk around the park next to the hospital and when I returned the surgery was over. Mike had just spoken with the doctor.

We went up to Dan's room and the traction was now gone and Dan's looked better.

I then headed home and Betty brought the children there.

Monday, September 19

Monday was the last day my parents and Dan's parents would be around.

We only saw Dan for a short while in the morning and then headed home.

My parents arrived in time for lunch and stayed just for the lunch hour and said good-bye.

Dan's parents visited in the late afternoon and stayed for dinner.

We had so much food in the house since the cub scouts had been so generous and we enjoyed being a family and eating outside.

Joel was picked up by a cub scout family and taken to cub scouts that evening.

Sunday, September 18

Sunday was not that different than Saturday.

More family visited. Dan's parents and Dan's brother Mike sat at Dan's bedside. My parents visited. More doctors came and met with my dad. Billy and Amy returned.

I had an offer from Billy and Amy to take the children to the movies, but I was unable to call them in time, and so, that did not happen.

The orthopedic surgeon had been one of my dad's students at Chicago Medical School!

Richard and Mary Frye took Joel to a picnic for hockey where he was supposed to find out who his coach and teammates were.

The girls waited in the ICU waiting room with my mom or Dan's mom.

Amy volunteered to bring dinner for everyone to my parents' Larkspur house, but I just did not have energy for that type of socializing.

We left the hospital when it was still light and stopped at Dan's parents' motel and visited for a short while and then went home.

I was exhausted and overwhelmed.

John suggests it is time to go home

John noticed it was getting dark and suggested to everyone that I head home.

I called Betty Knight who had the children and arranged to meet at the motel Dan's parents were staying at.

John offered to follow me home and did just that. I am so grateful to John.

When we arrived at the motel, Dan's parents were not there. We looked for them at the nearby coffee shop and when they were not there, we headed home.

The children were in wonderful spirits. Betty had showered them with gifts and given them lots of love that day.

I was so delighted to see my children so happy and we had a wonderful drive home.

When we got home we discovered that that Amy Hayes from the scouts had straightened up a bit, done some laundry, and left us with wonderful food. It felt so good.

We cuddled up together on the couch and enjoyed some of the food. The children put on The Incredibles. It had a scene where a man jumped out of a building, but was rescued by a superhero. I never noticed that scene before. In the movie, the man did not want to be saved and sues the superhero. I now wondered why a near death experience had been put in a child's movie?

Mark Enos visits

The leader of Joel's cub scout pack and his wife came to see Dan around 6:00 PM.

They talked with me and John and Evony awhile and then prayed for Dan and me.

John really helped

As I walked to the ICU, I must have run into John before I got on the elevator. As we headed to his room, a parent from my son's cub scout pack, was waiting for me.

She offerred to bring food to our house and straighten up a bit and I gave her an extra key to our house and thanked her for helping us out in this time of great need.

John and I went to Dan's room and John stayed with me the entire day. Time and hours passed by in a blur. John knew everything the ICU nurse was doing and gave me many suggestions.

My friend, Evony McKenna arrived and brought a small gift. I introduced John and Evony.

We must have all sat there and just talked for a good long while.

After lunch

My dad suggested at one point, that we all go out to lunch. That seemed odd to me, but once we left the hospital, I was glad to be outside again.

We ate at The Lettuce Head, one of the favorite restaurants Dan and I have enjoyed for several years. Billy and Amy and my parents talked about routine things as I tried to pick at my food.

A couple phone calls came in to my cell while I was at the restaurant, and on the way back to the hospital, my friend, John Helm, who worked at the hospital called me and told me he'd meet me at Dan's ICU room.

I said good-bye to my parents and headed towards Dan's room once again.

More Saturday

When I arrived in the ICU, Dan looked better than I expected him to.

He was in traction and on a ventilator. I was told he could not talk to me and was heavily sedated. The ICU nurse answered some of my questions and I sat next to Dan's bed and began to watch the news on TV.

The phone began to ring and doctors arrived. Soon Dan's parents arrived and we hugged.

My brother and his wife, Amy arrived and by early afternoon, my parents entered the room.

Dan's room was full of concerned visitors.

Doctors answered my father's questions. Calls kept coming in.

Early Saturday

I don't really remember sleeping, but I must have gotten some sleep. I think the first thing I did when I woke up was call the ICU and ask about Dan's status. I was glad to hear he was still alive.

I woke early and dressed quickly. I saw no reason to put on any make up.

I began to think about what to do with the children and thought about a friend who had invited the girls to play with dolls, so I called the girl's mother, Betty Knight.

Betty dropped all of her Saturday plans to help us.

We made arrangements to meet at the hospital. I stopped at 7 Eleven on the way to the hospital and picked up some breakfast for me and the children. Fortunately, Betty's and my car linked up in the parking lot of the hospital, and the children were moved to her car quickly. I kissed the children good-bye and headed inside the hospital, wondering what I would find.

The First Night

I don't remember doing much of anything when we first returned home. I may have sat in the living room holding the children for a good long time.

Somehow they all fell asleep in their clothes. I don't remember exactly how they fell asleep, but they eventually did.

I must have taken my purse out of the car and plugged in my cell phone. I also put the uneaten food from McDonalds in the refridgerator.

I must have gotten ready for bed.

I then went downstairs and began writing messages to certain people on the computer about what had happened.

My childhood friend, Sara Morgan Wade was online and I told her what occurred. She told me to get some professional help for me and the children.

After saying good bye to her, I went into an all night Christian chat room and a pastor prayed for Dan. I was told to get a church to help support me.

Since I don't go to church, the only Christians or pastor I could think of were the cub scouts my son attended, so I wrote them and asked for help.

Trip home

We took the elevator down to the first floor and as we exited the elevator, we ran into Rich and Debbie who did not know yet any details of what had happened.

Billy and I hugged good-bye and he headed towards his home in Denver. He had suggested perhaps that the children spend the night and next day with his family, but I could not imagine being separated from my children and absolutely refused his offer.

After talking a bit, it was decided that Rich would drive my car home and Debbie would follow us. Debbie offered to get the children dinner at McDonalds on the way home.

I remember I was so, so thirsty and couldn't wait to get to McDonalds to get a large drink.

I don't remember the drive home, but I do remember going in the McDonalds with the children and sitting with Rich and Debbie as the children ate. Joel ate very little, but the girls did enjoy their meal.

Then we went home and Rich and Debbie made sure we got safely in our house and Debbie told me to call her if I needed her help with anything the next day.

The ICU waiting room blur

I don't remember how we got to the ICU. The children and I followed the policemen and somehow ended up in an ICU waiting room.

I noticed there was a small area for children to play in at that ICU waiting room and I sat down nearby in an absolute daze. The children became busy. My son Joel was really upset and kept going to the restroom.

We moved to a different ICU waiting room across the hall since that room had no others in it while the policemen went to check on Dan's status.

My brother Billy arrived and introduced himself to the police.

I remember trying to make some phone calls from that waiting room. I called Richard and Debbie Griffin because Rich worked at the ice rink as assistant manager and I wanted to make sure that the message that I wouldn't be in on Saturday morning was received.

Dan's sister, Penny called and so did Dan's brother, Pat. I remember Penny saying how sorry she was.

I remember telling both Pat and Penny what the policemen had told me and Pat saying that what was described did not sound like Dan at all. We were all so puzzled.

I remember sitting down in a chair and telling the children what had happened. (I've been told by some people that I should have not said anything to the children yet, but no one was there to advise me and I just did not have the strength or brainpower to think about what the children should or should not hear.)

The police returned and found us in the other waiting room. They gave me a brown paper bag that contained Dan's personal belongings. I was told he'd never be able to wear the clothes inside again and that the socks at the bottom were quite bloody. Inside was also his cell phone, wallet, keys, money, and credit cards.

Before doing that, the police had taken me to a room where I saw Dan briefly. He was completely wrapped and I could barely see his face. He spoke to me. I heard him say, "I love you Bunny," "Not now talk," "I'm sorry." I actually don't remember what he said exactly, but he did speak to me.

I remember touching him and the person who did xrays asking me if I'd like to stay next to him for the xrays or if I wished to move. I remember the policman saying I was just there for a moment and had to return to my children in the waiting room.

Shortly after returning to the waiting room, a Dr. Butler talked to both my brother and me in the hallway. I was told the extent of Dan's injuries: a shattered pelvis and serious ankle injuries were described. I don't remember quite listening, but my brother Billy, did grasp the information.

I asked Dr. Butler if he would live and the doctor could not tell me for sure. I asked if the children should be taken home and if their father would be alive the next morning if we did so. The doctor told me he'd probably live through the night. I was advised not to allow the children to see Dan yet since it might devastate them.

So, once I returned to the waiting room, the police finished by telling me that they would close what had happened as an accident. They gave me a card and told me to call them if I learned any more information on what may have happened during Dan's work day.

Then Billy and I decided to leave and get the children home.

Emergency Room

The parking lot at Memorial Hospital was really busy that night.

As the children and I got out of the car and stopped for a moment and had the children hold hands in a circle with me. For the first time ever, we prayed together outloud for Daddy. We asked God to make sure our Daddy was okay.

We carefully walked towards the hospital elevators and all three children were crying as we entered the elevator area. When she observed our distress, a woman directed us to a direct path to the emergency room, but I chose not to take it since it was getting dark outside.

If took a few minutes to find the emergency room and when we did find it, the police were waiting for us.

The children were given crayons and coloring books and I was taken into a conference room.

The police asked me if Dan had shown any signs of depression or anything unusual recently. I could not think of anything out of the ordinary.

The policeman then told me that Dan had fallen off the Bijou Street Bridge at 4:25 PM. They said that some witnesses said they were not sure if he was alone or whether he had been pushed.

In shock, I wondered why he was at that location at 4:25 PM when he didn't even get off work until 4:30 PM.

We then left the conference room and the children and I were taken up to the 4th floor of the hospital to the ICU unit's waiting room.

The drive to the hospital

During the drive to the hospital, I made phone calls. I called Dan's parents. I called the skating student I was going to teach privately on Saturday morning and cancelled her lesson. I called the skating school director at the Chapel Hills Rink and left a message on her home phone machine that there had been an accident and I wouldn't be able to substitute teach as planned. I then called my father and asked if he could get my brother to come to the hospital.

My dad had some information for me: he'd found out Dan had fallen off a bridge. How? Where? He did not have those answers.

As I drove to the hospital I kept saying to myself, "He fell off a bridge! Where? What bridge?" There are no bridges between Dan's office at Pikes Peak and Wasatch and our home in Cheyenne Meadows. What in the world happened?

He's late, what should I do?

Dan is never late.

He walks in the house exactly at 5:40 PM if he takes the bus home.

It was 5:50 PM when we arrived home. "How long should I wait before I begin to worry?" I wondered.

At 5:55 PM, I called my father to tell him about the competition and seeing my brother Billy and some of the good skaters and I mentioned Dan's being late. I asked how long I should wait before calling the police to report a missing person. My father told me not to worry and suggested that Dan may have missed his bus. I explained to my dad that Dan could not have missed the bus since it left from a downtown station after 5:00 PM and Dan got off work at 4:30 PM. My dad told me again not to worry and told me he was in the middle of a TV show and had to go.

I then tried to call Dan's cell and Dan's office. Of course, there was no answer at his office, and I noticed the cell phone didn't sound right -- no recorded greeting, just a message that the phone was not working. I tried the cell number again and then, my phone rang and it was the police.

The police asked who was speaking and when I identified myself as Dan's wife, I was asked to report to Colorado Springs Memorial Hospital's Emergency Room immediately and that my husband had been in an accident. When I began to ask questions, the phone connection was lost.

Finally a call came through on my caller ID from Memorial Hospital. The policeman explained he could not give any details over the phone and asked again if I could come to the hospital ASAP. I asked if my husband was dead, hit by a car, or shot, but I could not be given an answer over the phone.

So, the children and I quickly put away any groceries that needed refridgeration, locked up the house, and headed for the hospital. Everyone was very excited and all three children, I recall, were crying.

No phone call from Dan?

Dan calls me every day. He usually begins calling at noon during his lunch time and just asks me how things are.

I usually tell him things are fine and that I'm not sure where we will be at the end of his work day.

If we are out and about, we pick Dan up at his office that is located on Wasatch and Pikes Peak. If we are not out and about, Dan takes the bus home since we only have one car.

If we don't talk on the phone about where exactly Dan should meet us, Dan knows to go home.

So, on Friday, September 16th, when I had not heard from Dan, I thought perhaps he'd been very busy at work and began to head towards home.

That morning, we'd talked about going swimming, and just for fun, after we left the competition, the children and I stopped a the Park and Rec Pool at Memorial Park to take a look at the pool. We'd never seen the pool and just wanted to check it out. The children and I wished we could swim there that night, but I told the children the pool closed too early to make it worth it and perhaps we'd go the next day.

Joel commented that we needed a Challah so we could celebrate Shabbat, so we then went to Albertsons and picked up dinner and Challah.

We arrived home at 5:50 PM and as we pulled into the garage, I wondered why Dan was not there. I checked my cell phone for a record of a call. Nothing. I checked our caller ID and Dan had not called.

What was going on? I knew something was wrong.

Just a Typical Day

Friday, September 16 turned out to be a wonderful day for me and the children. We left the World Arena and went on to Chapel Hills. I told the children how proud I was that they had worked so hard on the freestyle session at the World Arena.

We worked hard at Chapel Hills and I then taught one class at 11:00 AM.

Our friend, Hellene Anderson, took the three children to Ballet Society for ballet classes and I met them there.

I decided that it would be good to take the children to see the Colorado Springs Invitational Competition for the afternoon and we headed towards Sertich Ice Center.

The children enjoyed the competition, and especially enjoyed playing with certain skating friends that were watching the competition. My brother, Billy, was with some students at the competition, so we stayed and watched his skaters and some others.

The skaters were really good. The kids learned alot and we were so impressed when the National Novice Ladies Champion landed at triple lutz!

I bought the girls skating dresses that were selling on consignment and as it got to be close to 4:30 PM, we said good-bye to my brother.

Little did we know that at about that same time, my husband had fallen off a bridge and was near death.

We waved good-bye just before 7:00 AM

Just a little before 7:00 AM on Friday, September 16, 2005, my children and I waved good-bye to my husband, Dan.

It was a typical morning: we had packed the car for a busy day with skates and ballet clothes. Dan had packed lunches for the children. As we drove away from our house, I realized I forgot a folder that contained some scheduling information I needed for the day; Dan helped me conclude I could get by without the information for the day. We sipped coffee as we drove. (Dan made coffee every morning.)

When we reached the parking lot of the Colorado Springs World Arena, we said our good-byes to Dan, and he headed towards the bus stop near the World Arena that would bring a bus to pick him up at 7:08 AM and take him downtown. I remember telling him not to worry about helping us get into the rink on time like he usually did. I knew we were running a bit late and I didn't want him to miss his bus.

Nothing seemed unusual, but I knew Dan was tired. It had been a busy week. I'd gone to Denver with the children on Wednesday of that week for my children to have lessons with my brother, Billy. We'd left the house at 6:00 AM on that day and on Thursday morning, we'd also been up early. He'd got the oil changed in the car and he'd even mowed the lawn on one evening and put weed killer in the backyard. He'd taken my son to hockey evaluations and we'd been busy with our children performing in a stage production of CATS !

Yes, our life was full: it was directed by the children's activities and on Saturday, 9-10-05, we had spent some time alone together between CATS performances and had walked around downtown Colorado Springs holding hands and talking about our lives and our children. We had gone out to dinner together at a Japanese restaurant. We knew we were really busy!

Anyway, that Friday did not seem all that different. My son, Joel, was determined to skate by himself on an early morning freestyle, so we had been up since a little after 5:00 AM to prepare so we could make the 7:25 AM Freestyle session.

What a wonderful father Dan was, I thought, to be patient enough to wake up early every day for me and my children!

Little did I know that our lives would change forever as we kissed and waved good-bye to Daddy.

September 16, 2005

On September 16, 2005, I came home at 5:50 PM and discovered my husband, Dan, was not home.

What I did not know was that at 4:25 PM, he had fallen off the Bijou Street Bridge.

This is our story.

In fact, our story is still happening. I feel my family are the characters in a novel or movie and the conclusion has not yet been reached.