Since the summer of 2003, I've been studying weekly over the phone with a program called Partners in Torah. I originally signed up for the program so I could learn to read Hebrew and teach Hebrew to my children, but after learning to read Hebrew, I continued to study weekly over the phone with my study partner, Dena Leff, who lives in Far Rockaway, New York.When I signed up for the program, I didn't know that the study partner that Partners in Torah matched me up with was an Orthodox Jew, but as time went on, the two of us studied together about the Jewish holidays, Jewish customs, Jewish living, Jewish events, and also about our lives.
I learned about Dena's life and each week, as we chatted on the phone, I entered another world and learned about traditional Judaism.
Dena invited my family to visit. Dena suggested that we have a Bar Mitzvah for my son Joel if we ever visited. Well...finally we did visit Dena and her family! This is the story of our adventure:
We first walked to Penn Station from where we were staying at 31st and Park Avenue. We walked along a busy 31st Street to Penn Station. It was about 7:00 AM. One "interesting" thing we passed by as we walked was a huge group of homeless people lined up and eating breakfast in front of a church. The homeless were so absorbed in eating that they did not notice us, but I noticed them.
At Penn Station, we bought tickets for the Long Island Railroad and boarded a train for Far Rockaway. We met people on the train that suggested sites to see in NYC. Fortunately, they also told us we needed to change trains at a certain stop! They were so nice. Not everyone in NYC is nice, so it felt good to talk to some friendly people that rode the train to work every day.
After changing to a train that was much emptier, we looked out the window and enjoyed a pleasant trip to Inwood, the station just before Far Rockaway. When we got off the train, Dena had not arrived yet, but arrive about five minutes later. She and I hugged and met face to face for the first time.
We drove to her house to use the bathroom and then, we went off to the Shul. We arrived at a late morning men's Minyan that was scheduled to begin at 9:00 AM. The place was packed. There were men there of all ages wearing tefillin. Some were dressed in Chassidic clothes, others wore tallis, all wore kippahs, some had black hats, some wore casual clothes. Boys were there too.
Dena found the assistant rabbi and he was too busy to help Joel, but then Dena found a young man named Jared Stark, who helped Joel put on teffillin and shared the prayers Joel would say. We got to watch from a opening in a room and Joel went into the Minyan and got to read from the Torah (with help) and had a Bar Mitzvah! There was dancing and celebrating after that.Someone out of the blue gave Joel a $100 bill! Another man gave us a check to buy study books for Joel. There were Mazel Tovs coming from everywhere. Partners in Torah provided cake and drinks to celebrate.
We then went to Dena's house to celebrate. Her oldest daughter had prepared a brunch. One of her sons and one of her daughters joined us for the meal and her oldest daughter came by to see how all went. (She was working at a day camp and took a short break.)
Joel hit it off with Dena's son, Meir, and Annabelle and Dena's nine year old daughter, Pearl, hit it off. The kids played. We saw Dena's house. It is a huge old brick house. We saw the apartment in her basement that her family makes available to newly married couples for the first two weeks of their marriage. Dena's 4 year old son returned home from his day camp since he was acting up. The kids went outside and jumped on the trampoline.
Once Dena's baby ate, we all piled in Dena's van. Meir rode his bike around the neighborhood and we all toured the neighborhood. We first saw the mikvah. The women's mikvah was closed, but we saw the men's mikvah. Dena explained that even dishes are purified there. Then, we went by the Jewish volunteer fire department, saw where the Eruv wire was in her neighborhood, saw girls playing at a day camp in front of a Jewish day school, and then visited a Jewish girls school. So many little ones wearing long dresses were everywhere! It looked like any school and was nice.We then went to see the Yeshiva. I met one of the teachers and saw young men studying Talmud in a huge room. It was amazing. They all wore black and white. Joel went downstairs with Meir and saw many little boys playing in a gym. Joel was impressed that one kid was wearing Heelys!
We got back in the car and saw another group of teens dressed in black and white playing baseball as we passed.
We passed shul after shul, all in a small space. There were yards full of women with heads covered and many children playing. Women were pushing strollers. I didn't see any pets.
We drove to the next village, Lawrence, and went to a kosher pizza restaurant and then to a huge Jewish bookstore and bought books and music. The pizza was fantastic. Dena bought Rebekah a book that Rebekah read while we were still in Far Rockaway. (Rebekah told me it was so good she just couldn't put the book down.) I was introduced to a young woman on the street who announced she was engaged. Everyone was saying "Mazel Tov!" We looked into store windows that sold women's head coverings, yarmulkes, and wigs. I noticed a bakery where huge challah bread loaves were displayed in the window.
Dena wanted to show us the kosher supermarket, but we ran out of time. We returned to her home and she showed me her wedding pictures and her son's Bar Mitzvah pictures. The kids had ice cream.
A phone call from a neighbor across the street came. The mother had gone into labor...could Dena's family watch her other six children? Dena's house soon became filled with her other children who had been at camp and also the children from that family. My kids didn't know which kids were which!
Dena showed me a house across the street where a family with 13 children lived. The house had just had an addition put on. All the houses were alike, but huge. The lots were huge too. Dena's house had three bathrooms and several bedrooms upstairs. There was an entryway that had a dining room and living room on each side. Books and pictures lined the walls. There was an area for the computer and piano. Earlier, she showed me her kosher kitchen and how it was laid out.
Dena's children were all wonderful. They were so polite and so interested in talking. I wish we'd had more time to visit with her oldest son who had just returned from his camp. He mentioned how much he enjoyed visiting and exploring NYC. Joel loved playing computer games online with Meir. Annabelle loved hanging out with Pearl.
Dena drove us to the subway station and I hugged her good-bye. We had all had so much fun.
Once we got on the subway (which was empty at the time) we all talked about our day. We agreed that the visit to meet Dena and her family had been the best part of our visit to New York. We learned so much. We felt a bit like we had visited another country. We enjoyed learning about traditional Judaism and meeting Dena's family and friends.
It was a long subway ride back to mid-town Manhattan. We had to change subway trains and almost missed our stop. Dan announced to get out and I put my hand in the door to stop it from closing to stop Joel, Rebekah, and Dan from being left behind. Fortunately, the door opened and did not crush my arm. Some kind people helped us get all our belongings and we left the train safely and made our transfer.
Actually, the first train we tried to enter was too packed with people and we had to push and shove to get out of the way as the train left, but we took another train right to 33rd and Park that was not as full. Once we dropped our stuff off at where we were staying, we walked up Park Avenue for a few blocks and ate at a kosher restaurant called Mendy's. I just wanted to eat out to celebrate our last night in NYC. We promised the children ice cream and noticed the 31 Flavors near Mendys' was approved as kosher, but we didn't stop there.
We walked along 5th Avenue towards the Empire State Building. It was still open, but we decided not to ride up since it was expensive. We did go inside a New York public library (not the main one) and saw a description explaining the improvements planned for lower Manhattan. We also walked by the main library again. We saw the Flatirions Building from a distance.
We finally returned to 31st and Park and got the kids their ice cream at the local 31 Flavors. We then returned to where we were staying to pack. What a day!
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