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(The reason this site is called "Tragedy and Triumph" is that when I first founded this site, my husband, Dan, had been in a horrible accident, and he recovered. His recovery was a miracle! Go back to the 2005 archives to read our story.)
It’s been a rough year for me and my family due to my father’s death and also the bad experiences with my siblings that followed regarding his estate. My life has truly been torn apart. I needed time with my family and I have wished to be happy again.
I had one wish for the month of May 2022: I wanted my family to be together for my birthday on May 7 and also for Mother’s Day and just to be together. I got my wish and May 2022 has truly been a wonderful month.
Jo Ann happily skiing in Colorado in late April or early May 2022
Everyone has been apart: Dan was in California until the end of April with his ailing mother and family, Rebekah completed her fourth Disney On Ice tour at the end of April and flew back to Colorado from Texas on April 26, Annabelle and Ben were already in Colorado, Jo Ann and our sweet dog Duchess left Sun Valley for Colorado on April 22, and Joel left a couple weeks later.
By May 4, we were all together again!
Together on my birthday May 7, 2022 at Loveland Ski Area
So…on Saturday, May 7, off we all went to Loveland Ski Area for a day of skiing in celebration of Jo Ann’s birthday, Our friends Maureen, Jim, and Cece Weaver met us there.
It was truly a wonderful day together skiing on my birthday. On the way home we stopped at Guadalajuara restaurant in Castle Rock for dinner. It was the first time we’d been there since we ate there right before my father died in December.
On Sunday, May 8, we first went to Coyotes Den in Penrose and then we stopped at the Aiken Canyon trail and did a four mile hike together.
The fun did not end…
We went skiing again three more times in Arapahoe Basin! We went on more hikes together. One special hike was at Mueller State Park, but we also went to Red Rocks Open Space. We ice skated together too!
One of the special things we got to do together was get together with our dear friends Sam Anderson and Larisa Gendernalik at Poor Richards! Sam’s mom Hellene died a year ago and we had not yet had a chance to see Sam. Also, seeing Larisa was wonderful!
We watched movies together and ate meals together. Of course we went to Poor Richards (our favorite family place) and to Burrowing Owl!
We went to Shabbat services together too.
May 2022 turned out to be so wonderful for me and the entire Schneider-Farris family!
Here’s a timeline of all that has occurred since my father’s death on December 13, 2021:
December 13–15, 2021: After my father’s body was taken by the mortuary, my family was given a couple days to mourn, but….
December 15, 2021: My brother calls and discusses which one of us should pay car insurance on my father’s cars. I learn that the homes he owns where I took care of him (his Long Beach condo and his Colorado home) will have to be sold. I am told by my brother that there is no hurry to get our personal belongings out of his homes.
December 16, 2021: I find the titles to the cars. I have inherited all the cars since my father signed rights of survivorship to me. We did that so it would be easier for me to get the insurance cards and registrations in his cars. I am told by my brother I had been sneaky to do that.
December 21, 2022: Zoom memorial service for my father is held.
Late December: I am told by my brother William Schneider that the will names me and him and my sister Lynnellen Schneider as trustees to the estate. I am asked to sign over my rights as trustee and am told that by law that if I sign over those rights my brother is required to be totally transparent and tell me every detail in the estate process. (I sign over my rights. That has not occurred!)
December 25, 2021: My brother and his family celebrate the Christmas holiday in New York City. I feel that their trip is quite inappropriate during this time of mourning and they should not have announced it all over Facebook.
Also in late December, Dan and begin to move our personal things out of the Larkspur house.
I learn that my father will be put to rest with my mom in the Rose of Sharon Jewish section of Forest Lawn in Long Beach. At first I did not want to go since I am told all that will happen is my sister will be present, but change my mind since I realized it will probably be the last time my brother, sister, and I will be together. When I ask my sister about staying in my father’s Long Beach condo and attending, I am told she doesn’t want me there, so I tell my brother I will not attend.
Text messages get exchanged in December and January between my brother and sister and me. Although my brother told me I could write up what would be on the gravestone, my sister doesn’t approve of what I came up with. Eventually, my brother decides to just mirror what was on my mother’s plaque. The entire memory of us not agreeing about what should be on my father’s gravestone is so very painful and sad since I was attacked for wanting my dad to be remembered correctly.
The text messages between me and my brother and sister become more and more painful, so by the end of January 2022, I decided to stop using text communication with them. My sister has not spoken to me on the phone since before my father died! She continues to refuse to speak with me. I have tried to reach out, but no response.
On January 20, 2022, my father’s body is placed in the crypt at Forest Lawn in Long Beach with my mother. We learn after the ceremony, that it was a full on graveside funeral! There were flowers. Chairs were set up. My sister and her three children and her three children’s significant others and her four grandchildren were there and my brother and his wife were there with their two children. Our family was excluded! When I ask my sister and brother about this, they say I had my chance to go, but chose not to go. That was not the case! We wanted to go, but my sister had previously said she didn’t want me there and I thought that only my sister and perhaps my brother would be there. It hurt so bad to be excluded from my father’s graveside ceremony when my family and I had been his caretakers for all those years.
In mid January, we find out from my brother that my son’s room at the Colorado house had to be cleared out completely. Joel could not get away from his job in Idaho, so Dan and I get all the belongings (with my daughter Annabelle and her boyfriend Ben’s help) out.
In early February, the Colorado home gets put up for sale. We ask my brother if there could be some time before the sale, but we are told that the probate attorney, Angela Kruse, says it needs to go up for sale immediately.
We are then told we have just a few days in March to get the things we’d like from the house. We hire a mover.
Shortly after the mover comes, the house is sold and the new owner takes possession of the house. I cry so, so hard as we drive away one last time. That was around March 22.
A few days after the sale I ask about getting my share of the sale and am told the Long Beach property my father owned must be sold before there is any payout. I am told via email there should be no hurry, but from my point of view, I just want “this” to be over and move on.
I then learn to delay the sale, that my nephew Drew Sainte Marie wishes to rent the Long Beach property for nine months for $2000 a month (a low rental rate, but would pay expenses) and after nine months, he could extend his lease. I don’t approve the nine month lease and suggest a month to month or three month lease. Drew does not accept those terms.
I suggest Drew just stay there the way his brother, Cody, has been staying there. I was told almost immediately after my father’s death by my sister Lynnellen that Cody and his kids needed to stay in that condo and that I could not use it. I was also told by my brother Billy that we would be permitted to go the condo in Long Beach for only one week to get some closure and remove the things we wanted.
Instead, we make temporary arrangements for a place to stay in Belmont Shore. We were told we couldn’t just show up to get our things and that we had to make formal arrangements with Cody to go inside the condo. When we did go to the condo, we arrived to a completely trashed condo. The very valuable rug was rolled up outside on the patio floor. There was trash everywhere mixed in with some nice things that had been in the condo. We did remove the things we wanted.
The lawyer tell me that there is a deadline of May 2, 2022 for my brother as the trustee to disclose what exactly is in my father’s estate as an inventory. Around May 13, about two weeks late the “disclosed inventory summary” is finally sent to my lawyer and my lawyer sends me what was disclosed (sent from the probate attorney my brother hired, Angela Kruse) and nothing except what I already knew was disclosed! I only know that the Colorado home is sold and it is even stated that what was inside the Colorado Springs condo that was given to me in the Trust should be part of the estate!
An estate bank account should have been set up and this inventory of what was in the estate disclosure didn’t even list that!
In summary, my brother’s statement that he would be totally transparent regarding estate matters has not happened.
I feel horrible that I had to hire a lawyer, but there is no choice. I do look forward to “this” being over and getting my financial portion of the estate, but I’m also so, so sad that I no longer have a brother and sister to mourn the loss of my dad with.
My sister in law Amy even unfriended me on Facebook and my nephew Drew blocked me entirely.
On a positive note, I did receive on May 7 a happy birthday text (one line) from my sister Lynnellen and also a happy birthday private message via Facebook messenger from her daughter, my niece, Cori.
Summary of losses:
My Daddy who I loved and cared for for so many years.
My life in Long Beach and the use of our family home there
My dad’s beautiful Colorado home which gave us so much happiness gone
My relationship with my brother and my sister and their families is gone
On a positive note: My entire family, me, my three kids and my husband, came together in May and we’ve treasured every moment together. Of course, all the wonderful memories we have of taking care of my dad can never be taken away. It is a shame that my siblings didn’t take the time to love him and care for him as we did. We’ve also realized how fortunate we are to have so many loving cousins and friends.
In January of 2022, my husband Dan and I thought about renting a room or studio apartment for a few months in Belmont Shore or Belmont Heights in Long Beach since my sister Lynnellen’s family and my brother Billy had made it clear we were no longer welcome to use my late father’s Naples condo. (That is another story…) I needed time to close up the life I had built for myself in Long Beach while taking care of my dad. I needed time to heal.
JO ANN happily enjoying life in Long Beach before her father’s death
We stumbled on an advertisement using a Google search for a room for rent in an apartment in Belmont Shore that was only available for three months beginning on February 1, 2022.
When the person renting the room, Michelle Fisher, returned our inquiry call, we explained our situation and she explained her’s. Her mother had died on October 31, 2021 and she’d been her mother’s caretaker. She and her mother had lived at 107 Glendora together for about twenty years. She explained she wanted to rent the master bedroom in her duplex apartment out and that she usually rented that room out to one person. She also rented only for three months at a time. She told me she’d think about renting to us since we were a married couple and she usually rented rooms to one person not two. I told her we would not be there all the time so the arrangement might work and be comfortable for everyone. Three months sounded good to me since Dan and I were not quite sure how long we’d want to continue paying for a place in Long Beach.
Also, in the conversation, Michelle asked us what kind of jobs we both held. I explained Dan had recently retired and caring for my late father had been my most recent work, but I was essentially retired too. When I asked Michelle what kind of work she did she said that her work was renting out a room in the duplex. That response puzzled me. There seemed to be something “different” about Michelle.
After we got off the phone, Michelle didn’t think about renting to us for long since she called us back about 10 minutes later and told us she wished to rent to us. She also told us that even though the advertisement stated that internet and cable television were included, that that was no longer the case. We decided that using our phone and cellular data and mobile hotspot would work since we’d not be at the duplex full time.
A day or so later, I receive a phone call from Michelle’s sister, Ranelle Storer. Ranelle gave me details about Michelle and explained that Michelle was mentally and developmentally disabled with a disorder called Neurofibromatosis. (Later her sister used the old term “mentally retarded” when talking about her sister.) Michelle was born with a disorder that made her act like a person who is about 14 or 15 years old for life. We learned that despite her disability, Michelle was determined to make it on her own in Long Beach in her late mother’s beach apartment. We also learned that Michelle had three children and even some grandchildren and had been a victim of an abusive relationship. Ranelle explained she took care of all of Michelle’s affairs from a distance from her home in northern Idaho and we’d be dealing with her more than Michelle regarding the business related to the rental.
Ranelle said that we just seemed like a perfect fit for Michelle and looked forward to Michelle meeting with Dan. Ranelle also told us that Michelle was not the owner of the duplex, but a renter, so we would be subletting the room and would have use of the entire apartment available to us minus Michelle’s room.
We learned the actual owner was Aldo Zanier. He owned the upstairs 107 Glendora and his ex-wife owned the downstairs 109 Glendora. He knew about and approved of Michelle subletting the room and even reduced the monthly rent from the advertised $1500 a month to $1300 plus shared utilities.
A few days later, my husband Dan met with Michelle in person and saw the apartment. Michelle really wanted to rent to us he could tell. I asked to see the garage and was disappointed that it was full of stuff, but I still liked the apartment from the FaceTime phone call I made with Dan.
Dan signed a lease that day and gave Michelle the $500 deposit via check. We were told $250 was non-refundable but the other $250, a cleaning deposit, would be returned at the end of the lease agreement.
On January 31, I sent $1300 to Ranelle via Venmo and on February 1, I sent another amount to pay for the garage. We had agreed on an additional $60 a month for the garage (since it was full of Michelle’s late mother’s stuff instead of the original stated amount of $150), but the amount of us making an extra key for the duplex and the amount for the garage lock ($22.01) was deducted from that $60 so we paid $37.99 for the month of February for the garage rental.
When we did arrive in early February, I arrived at the apartment alone since my husband Dan was ill and stayed at his mother’s house for a day or two. Michelle helped me bring in my things and I remember her giving me a welcome hug. She really was happy that I’d arrived.
This was the way our bed looked when we arrived
Once I got settled, I discovered the room and the duplex in general was not all that clean and the bathroom shower had little pieces of broken soap on the shower floor and shower tile was stained and needed cleaning. The drain cover kept falling off and was filled with “who knows what.” (All the time I stayed at the duplex, I decided to wear flip flops when I showered since that made me think the shower was dirty.)
Michelle asked me if the duplex was clean enough for me, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I just told her all was fine. I went to bed crying though wondering why in the world I sublet a place sight unseen. This was certainly not like any of the tidy and perfect and clean Airbnb vacation rentals I’d rented in the past. Michelle’s mother’s belongings filled up one of the closets in our room and there was miscellaneous stuff all over the duplex that needed to be gone through and discarded.
Jo Ann happily back in Long Beach (107 Glendora is only a block and a half from the beach)
I made the most of what I considered a mistake. The next morning, I took a scooter ride down to the beach with my dog Duchess. The scene I saw before me was wonderful!
In the next couple of days though, I bought some cleaning supplies and cleaned all the drawers in our room and in the bathroom and lined them. I cleaned the top of all the furniture and washed our bedding. Dan also did quite a bit of cleaning when he arrived. With Michelle’s permission, I brought in Denice from The Help Cleaning Services to do a deep cleaning of our room and paid Denice with our own funds. That cleaning cost us $180.
Getting that room cleaned really helped me breathe better. Raynelle explained that a beach apartment just attracted a lot of dust. I figured Michelle, since her sister said her maturity was like a teen, did not understand what I expected as far as cleanliness goes so I just spent our money to make our accommodations comfortable for us by paying for that deep and thorough cleaning.
Dan enjoying the duplex on the couch with our dog Duchess
Part of the large old fashioned bathroom
I purchased this new bath mat - the original one when I arrived was torn and worn
The above video show the large shared bathroom
Kitchen, dining area, pantry tour
The duplex reminded me of a San Francisco flat. There was a huge set of stairs going up to the front door. When one entered there was a large living room with a window seat and large couch. There was a fireplace, but only for decorative purposes. Boxes were piled next to the fireplace. To the right of the living room was a cluttered dining area and a kitchen and a dusty laundry-pantry room. The bedroom wing was to the left. Michelle’s bedroom was in the center of the duplex, then there was a large bathroom with old fashioned greenish tile with a stained tub (which was not used), a shower, and a vanity and toilet. Our room was the master bedroom which had a sliding door that led to a deck that also could be accessed from the laundry room pantry area. The deck was not all that clean (Dan and I cleaned it up in February.)
Duchess loved sleeping with Michelle!
Michelle really enjoyed Duchess’s company!
Duchess and Michelle - Buddies!
As we settled in and cleaned the duplex and got to know Michelle I wondered if we should consider staying longer than the three months, but when Michelle told us that after May 1 when our lease ended that she would rent out her room and sleep on the couch, I told her at first that we’d probably not stay since there was only one bathroom.
The time we stayed at 107 Glendora in February was actually very pleasant. We enjoyed getting to know Michelle too. She was quite tidy like me so all seemed okay. We noticed that sometimes she was short with us, but Ranelle explained that behavior was related to her disability.
Below are a couple videos I took of the way we set things up in the duplex.
Dan helped Michelle move a lot of stuff from the garage into the alley so it could be picked up by a Long Beach trash company. He also helped her with a donation pick up. Dan and his brother Mike fixed the toilet. We took out the trash every day and Dan put the trash and recycle containers out in the alley before trash pick up on Tuesdays. We asked the neighbors below for permission to use their trash container just before trash day if the 107 Glendora trash container got filled up.
We liked the location and we liked the duplex and we liked Michelle. It didn’t seem like she was mentally disabled and she was very sweet. We began to think about staying past May 1st even though we knew the duplex would not be all that comfortable after Michelle rented out the smaller bedroom. I told Michelle I thought I’d be back in April, but Dan might be back sooner.
Some of our things and some of Michelle’s things in the living room
During our February and early March stay, we moved many belongings into the duplex. We had our friends Rosie and her brother Michael over for a meal and were delighted that Michelle joined us for the meal. Michelle told Michael that she’d have a room to rent after May 1st if he was interested. She made it clear that the room was not available until then.
We really liked the way we set up our bedroom!
We got Michelle’s television working and watched the Winter Olympics and shared pizza with Michelle. It was fun to see her get more comfortable around us and learn about her and her family. Michelle told us how nice the duplex looked. I put my loving touches all over the apartment.
One weekend a family friend of Michelle’s and Ranelle’s named Nico stayed in the duplex and slept on the couch. At first I felt funny having another person there, but he made Michelle so happy that I decided his stay was worth it and hoped he’d be back. Nico snored, but the front couch was far enough from our room that we didn’t hear his snores from our room in the back.
Michelle and I had a lot in common since I had recently lost my dad and she’d lost her mom Xina Renata. Her mother had died of cancer. She told us details of her mom’s last days. When I cried out of the blue when I missed my dad, Michelle consoled me. It helped to talk to one another about what we’d been through. I really felt we’d made a good friend.
I enjoyed also talking to Michelle’s sister Ranelle on the phone and getting to know her. I invited Michelle to do things with us and take her shopping, but she never accepted our offers until one day when I invited Michelle to bike ride with me on the beach bike path. We had fun together on that bike ride!
Bike riding with Michelle
I sent Michelle a birthday card in early March and sent both her and her sister a thinking of you type card on the day of their mom’s celebration of life, March 5, which was also their mother’s birthday. We learned that there had been some strife with extended family regarding their mother’s death. We sympathized with the pain Michelle and Ranelle were going through.
As the end of March came near, Dan told Michelle we wanted to extend our lease, but when her sister Ranelle told me via text that the garage would go up from $60 to $150, we decided it was time to move on, so we gave more than a month’s notice.
I decided I’d take one more trip to Long Beach in April to say my last good-byes and was all packed and ready to go when I learned from my husband Dan that Michelle had already rented out her room and was sleeping on the couch on the evening of April 1. When I called Michelle to find out why she had rented the room out before the May 1 promised date, she said she tried to warn us, but we’d never been consulted or warned.
I was really upset. I had counted on not having to share a bathroom with a stranger during the month of April, but there had obviously been a misunderstanding. I decided I would not return to Long Beach and asked Michelle’s sister Ranelle if they’d possibly consider refunding some of the April rent if Dan vacated early. We had a discussion that went back and forth via text. Ranelle brought up some good points: Rent had been reduced from $1500 to $1300, our dog had enjoyed the duplex and enjoyed also sleeping with Michelle and there had been no extra charge for the dog, we’d been allowed to stay even though we were a couple, we’d been welcome to put our personal things in other spaces besides our room, we were welcome to have family visit if needed, etc. It seemed that our discussion was not resolving me being so upset and sad, so I finally told Ranelle I’d move on and that Dan would stay until April 30. I was broken hearted though. My time of closure of my Long Beach life abruptly ended because I did not want to share a bathroom with a total stranger.
Despite my sadness and disappointment, all went fine for the month of April: Dan rented a cargo van and took many of our personal things that were in the duplex and in the duplex garage back to Colorado and I met him there and together we put things away. Dan returned to Long Beach and stayed in the duplex but spent most of his time with his mother, brother, and sister. Dan was there for his mother’s 98th birthday on April 20th!
Dan vacated as planned on April 30 late at night.
We covered the broken down chair below with our comforter
This was the condition of the chair when we arrived in the duplex in February 2022 - our dog was accused of chewing up this chair and that is a false accusation
On Sunday, May 1, I received a text from Ranelle saying we damaged the two antique broken down chairs that were in our bedroom. Let me state this: Those two chairs, upon arrival, were in horrible condition and in an unacceptable condition and should not have been put inside our room. They were torn, broken, ripped when we arrived and made the room look like we had been put in a slum. I asked Michelle about removing the chairs or putting them somewhere else in the apartment or getting rid of the chairs altogether, but she said there was no room for them anywhere else and they had to stay in the room. They meant something to Michelle since they meant something to her late mother. She gave me some fabric to put on one of the chairs and we put our own comforter on the other one. I am still very upset that we were accused (our dog was actually accused) of damaging the chairs. Neither we nor our dog damaged those horrible broken down chairs.
We were given a choice: They would keep the $250 security deposit or we would get the chairs repaired. At first it was just getting one chair repaired and then it was two!
I finally called Raynelle and we agreed they keep the security deposit and we all just move on. I definitely did not want to have to pay more money. Earlier that afternoon, from a noisy parking lot in Colorado where I could not hear the phone well, I tried to discuss the situation with Michelle and Ranelle, but Michelle hung up on me and said “Have a nice life.” I am glad that I was able to discuss this with Ranelle over the phone later that evening.
Some things to note:
1) The original advertisement said nothing about sharing the garage. We would not have been interested in renting at all without having the entire garage to ourselves.
2) The original advertisement said nothing about both rooms being rented out with the tenant-landlord sleeping on the couch. We would have never considered renting if we’d been told that another tenant would move into the second bedroom of the duplex.
3) Michelle had very little money and needs all the money associated with a sublet. We did not damage the chairs and I’m thinking any excuse to keep the security deposit was essential.
4) Dan and I met the tenants below, Courtney and Hulio, several times. They were very nice to us, but we were told that they had been very rude to Michelle.
5) We paid the rent in full before the first of each month and paid our portion of the utilities as soon as asked and paid for the garage on the first of the month. We were good tenants.
6) We kept the duplex clean and respected anything Michelle wished or asked of us.
7) The person who moved in on March 30, Sam, only stayed about a week due to an issue with the tenants below. Apparently, they didn’t want Sam drinking beer in the front lawn area although that was a shared space and there had been some sort of verbal conflict over that. Sam vacating made things more comfortable for Dan for part of April, but another tenant, Francis, moved into Michelle’s room around April 13. It would have been nice if it could have been just Dan and Michelle for the rest of April since the original agreement had been no one else in the duplex apartment until after our lease ended on April 30. It was obvious Michelle needed the money and Michelle’s sister Ranelle confirmed that with a phone call apologizing for the situation.
8) Michelle was not vaccinated and we were not informed of that until after we’d signed the lease and were about to move in. In my opinion, we should have been given that information as soon as we inquired about the sublet.
In conclusion: 107 Glendora Avenue, Long Beach, California 90803 and subletting from Michelle Fisher may not be a good choice if you are looking for a rental even if the beach is only a block and a half away and it is in beautiful Belmont Shore….
